People say the dumbest things ...
A neighbor, upon seeing me shuffling along with my cane: "Oh, is your back really that bad?"
Me: “Oh, good gracious, no! You know how it is, I really like to walk around with the cane, it slows me down so delightfully, I think I’ll never be without it again!”
Alternate response: “Sshh! I’m faking it for the sympathy! Now get the door for me before I nail you in the shins with this thing!”
A neighbor, upon seeing me shuffling along with my cane: "Are you still waiting for surgery?"
Me: “Actually, I’ve had myself taken off the list for surgery; I’m finding walking around in pain and exhaustion incredibly uplifting. Do try it, it’s better than yoga!”
A neighbor, upon seeing me shuffling along with my cane: "How’s your back?"
Me: “How’s it look, asshole?”
A neighbor, upon seeing me shuffling along with my cane:"Have you tried yoga/a chiropractor/acupuncture/swimming/stretching/physical therapy?"
Me: “Have you tried being a sentient being? Dear GOD, can you see that I can’t hold up my upper body on my own? Why don’t you figure out how much your upper body weighs and then carry that weight around in a backpack on your back and see how able you are to do yoga/swimming/stretching, etc. And don’t get me started on physical therapy. I’ve made more progress on my own than I did with the PT harassing me about ‘making progress’ with her cookie cutter ‘back strengthening’ program that was causing more damage than good.”
A neighbor, upon seeing me shuffling along with my cane: "Glad to see you are improving!"*
Me: "What are you comparing it with that *this* looks better than anything? I mean sure, at least I’m up out of bed, but I’m walking like an old crone with a bag of sticks on her back, all bent and slow. Even though the pain is better, the walking gets worse by the week. WTF?"
*Special note for blog readers, don’t come here and just skim the entries and then make a thoughtless comment like the one above. It's just insulting is what it is, and it really pisses me off.
Wanna know what TO say? Compliment my cane, my attitude, my smile, my hair; things like that are a LOT easier to smile through.