I hate just waiting for time to pass.

There's nothing I can really do until I go to see the doctor next Friday. As I've said before I have mixed feelings about this appointment, on one hand, wanting to go and ask questions and be reassured that I will indeed be having the surgery and perhaps even given a date for it. On the other hand, (and I hate this hand), being told that maybe Aetna hasn't responded, or worse, that they have rejected the request and we'll have to appeal. Last time we were in Dr. B.'s office, he left us with the impression that they knew how to "work the system," meaning they'll wheel and deal with the insurance company to get the operation covered. I hope they know what they're doing.

It doesn't help, either, that I called the woman who is supposedly in touch with the insurance company and is supposed to be coordinating all this to see if there was any other information (like the fact that I was just approved for SSDI) that might help. She said she'd call me back and hasn't, which just makes me crazy. I was saying to my husband the other night that this is just like dating. Do I call back? Why didn't she call me? Maybe she's busy, or maybe she's sick, or maybe I'm never having this surgery and I'll be in a wheelchair soon.

If I got a date for the surgery, then I could start planning; I could start to line up who's going to take care of Tony, maybe get some new pajamas to wear, get my hair cut and my legs waxed in anticipation of a two week hospital stay. But for now there's really nothing I can do except wait for time to pass.