High Heels for the first time!

Went to a wedding this weekend and I wore heels for the first time in at least a year and a half! Here's me in the church bathroom in 'em.

Here's another shot outside the church.

You can't really see it here, but there was an older woman standing by the curb who had a cane. Last year that would have been me. Hell, just over six months ago, that would have been me! Even though I'm paying for it now, I'm so happy to be the one in heels and not the one with the cane.

I was over my back ...

This looks and feels the same to me as it has for the past couple months now. Still sore, still feels like it's going to pull apart when I stretch (which I found out yesterday I wasn't supposed to be doing. Oops.)

Talked to Theresa yesterday about the weird burning pain in my upper back that gives me the chills and the willies and the persistent nag of the threat of full blown sciatica shooting down my legs. She repeated her mantra that I'm overdoing it and I should listen to my body. How do I start to listen to my body now? Much of my life has been spent ignoring those tiny tweaks and twinges in order to just get through the day. How else could I have spent years fencing, rock climbing, running long distances? I'm not sure what listening to my body even means.

So today at the gym I only did legs, and I haven't been swimming for a week, afraid I'll get the burning pulling pain in the water and necessitate a rescue by the lifeguard. It's that bad, and I sometimes can't feel when it's coming. I Also can't believe I did it to myself trying to stretch. When will I learn that I'm not competing with anyone and it doesn't matter all that much if I exercise six times a week or three? I'm still getting plenty of exercise walking Tony every single day (but in fact the walking is what brings out the sciatica, what to do?). Today at the gym I was feeling good after a half hour on the elliptical cardio machine and full leg weight circuit; I had no twinges in my legs until I started stretching my quads (which I was told I could and should do), at which point I felt that little shock go down my legs. I'm thinking it has something to do with arching my back, which I did slightly while performing the stretch.

It's clear I must cut back my activites, which I already have been forced to. I miss swimming, I miss the smell of the chlorine and the beauty of our pool; I miss gliding through the water, channeling Michael Phelps, rocking from side to side gulping in air.

Just when I thought it was safe to be so over this whole ordeal, it's, if you'll excuse the pun, back.

Abdominal Incision 9 weeks

It's still looking pretty raw, I think, and it's still sore and tender to the touch. It's also still a little swollen, which bothers me more than anything. I went to the dermatologist last week and he said that Mederma and Vitamin E, which is what I was using, don't really do too much. He recommended Neosporin Scar Solution, which I applied last night. The pads seem sturdy enough, but I'm not sure if they are going to last the 3-4 days that the dermatologist and brochure said they would. I woke up in the middle of the night last night to find one stuck to my finger and two more rolled up in the bed, stuck with lint. I plan to take a picture every Monday for the next several weeks to see how much it is helping, or not.

Stay tuned.

Uptown Girl!

Yesterday I went the farthest yet on my own, up to 96th and CPW to my dentist's office. I took the 10th Avenue bus up there and walked the block and a half from the stop to his office. The uptown bus was definitely a smoother ride than the crosstown double length job, with all its weird rattley segments, so even though I was on the bus for much longer (try 40 minutes!), I was ok. On the way home, I was very close to the C train, so I ventured down the stairs and, surprize! It was ok. I was worried again about bumping and jostling, but it wasn't crowded at all and it was really fun to be on the subway again, without the cane and without Tyler and without worrying.

I'm actually starting to feel not only like a normal human again, but a New Yorker! Yay!