I was over my back ...

This looks and feels the same to me as it has for the past couple months now. Still sore, still feels like it's going to pull apart when I stretch (which I found out yesterday I wasn't supposed to be doing. Oops.)

Talked to Theresa yesterday about the weird burning pain in my upper back that gives me the chills and the willies and the persistent nag of the threat of full blown sciatica shooting down my legs. She repeated her mantra that I'm overdoing it and I should listen to my body. How do I start to listen to my body now? Much of my life has been spent ignoring those tiny tweaks and twinges in order to just get through the day. How else could I have spent years fencing, rock climbing, running long distances? I'm not sure what listening to my body even means.

So today at the gym I only did legs, and I haven't been swimming for a week, afraid I'll get the burning pulling pain in the water and necessitate a rescue by the lifeguard. It's that bad, and I sometimes can't feel when it's coming. I Also can't believe I did it to myself trying to stretch. When will I learn that I'm not competing with anyone and it doesn't matter all that much if I exercise six times a week or three? I'm still getting plenty of exercise walking Tony every single day (but in fact the walking is what brings out the sciatica, what to do?). Today at the gym I was feeling good after a half hour on the elliptical cardio machine and full leg weight circuit; I had no twinges in my legs until I started stretching my quads (which I was told I could and should do), at which point I felt that little shock go down my legs. I'm thinking it has something to do with arching my back, which I did slightly while performing the stretch.

It's clear I must cut back my activites, which I already have been forced to. I miss swimming, I miss the smell of the chlorine and the beauty of our pool; I miss gliding through the water, channeling Michael Phelps, rocking from side to side gulping in air.

Just when I thought it was safe to be so over this whole ordeal, it's, if you'll excuse the pun, back.

Abdominal Incision 12 weeks

OK, still not looking too much better, but they say it needs three months to work fully. Wouldn't it look better in three months anyway? It seems that this is similar to Groundhog Day (the day, not the movie), in that if the ground hog sees his shadow it's six more weeks of winter, and if not it will be an early spring. Well, how much earlier can spring come than the second week of March, which is six weeks from Groundhog Day? It's the same thing in my book. Anyway, I digress, but only because I'm just not too excited about the results from the Neosporin Scar Solution so far. I'm hoping that there will be a big improvement all of a sudden in the next few weeks because as you can see in the picture, I bought a two piece bathing suit! It's a TYR fitness suit and it's going to be great for swimming laps. It fits great and I was having a real problem with the one pieces; my torso is longer by at least a quarter to a half an inch, so all the suits that fit my hips were digging into my shoulders because they were too short for me. So I'll be flaunting my scars at the London Terrace pool, I hope no one is squeamish!

Abdominal Incision 10 weeks

On with the Neosporin Scar Solution Challenge ...
It doesn't look too much different from last week's photo, but I didn't really expect results in one week.

I've still got the sciatica-type pain in my left leg and hip, and I'm now thinking that walking Tony, when he's in an excited state and pulling a bit on the leash, isn't the best thing for me. True, he's only 17 pounds, but I just had major surgery 10 weeks ago.

I'm feeling very frustrated right now. I mentioned before that I had stopped going to the gym in favor of walking Tony, but with the weather being absolutely frigid, neither one of us wanted to spend much time outside. Then I started to feel the pain and panicked and started to try to take it easy. But after about a week or so of that, I started to go stir crazy. I need exercise, mentally almost more than physically at this point. Plus with Tony being all in an anxious state about something, I needed to stop and rearrange things.

So I went to the gym today and rode the recumbent bike for twenty-five minutes and then came home. We'll increase the dog-walker's time in the afternoon from a half hour to an hour so Tony gets his exercise too and see how we all do. From just that short session at the gym, I'm already feeling better.

Ain't Technology Grand?

I'm looking good!
Or so Dr. Balderston says. He pulled the remainder of the surgical tape off the abdominal incision and it doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. He says it's still somewhat swollen, and I can attest to the fact that it is still very sore to the touch. Those red marks on the sides are bruises from when the surgical tape was on and I had the distention problem, causing blisters to form under the tape. Ugh.
He was really impressed with my walking regimen, but didn't give me permission to do anything more than that at least until I see him again in another six weeks. I am allowed to begin doing some upper body work, mostly arms and shoulders (no lat pulldowns, chest or pec work for now), with five pound weights (he started at three pounds, but I got him up to five, ha!). I'm also allowed to start moving my body into different positions, like mild twisting, and I'm permitted to lift and carry up to fifteen pounds. But no bending yet.

I asked him about my still throbbing legs, he said it will go away as I become more used to walking upright (ha, soon I'll be using tools just like a human!). Apparently all my feverish stationary bicycle riding and swimming don't use the same muscles as good old-fashioned walking.





As you can see from the xrays, (click on the images to see them larger)he didn't take out the old rods; there was so much bone grown over them that he said it would have been a much more painful recovery for me. What they did do was cut the rods and reposition them so that my shoulders and thoracic region are now above my pelvis, and not pitching forward (compare to this). The first little red arrow in the xray on the right is where they cut the rod, the second points out the L3-4 fusion with small metal cage and screw, the third arrow points to the ProDisc at L5-S1.

Ain't technology grand?

Tummy Ache

They took yet another set of xrays (this was the fourth!) this morning and determined that the obstruction had lessened somewhat, at least enough to allow me to graduate to a clear liquid diet. Yay! I've been sipping on cranberry juice and extra salty beef broth all day. My abdomen is still very distended (though you can't really tell from this picture) though not as much as before. Because I'm now ingesting clear liquids, they were able to take me off the IV fluids, and not a moment too soon, as I have not a viable vein left in either of my arms or hands.

Unfortunately, taking me off the IV also means that they are trying to wean me off of the IV pain meds. The Demerol was really allowing me to get sleep that I desparately need and I'm just now realizing that all this hurts. A lot. Dr. Balderston says that I'll have muscle aches and pain for "several months" (ouch!) while my body adjusts to its new way of being. My right leg, for instance, which was always buckling underneath me is now stretched taut, as are my stomach muscles. It feels a bit weird to be walking upright and not have to hold myself up with anything, but, hey, I could get used to it!

Keep your fingers crossed that all goes ok with the clear liquids and that I can graduate to the "mushy diet" tomorrow and then it's on to solid foods. I won't be getting out tomorrow, Wednesday or Thursday is more like it, and I'll know more after talking with Dr. B. tomorrow morning.